


Thicker Than Water

by pocketfear13



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-02-28 06:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2721773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketfear13/pseuds/pocketfear13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First Kili expresses distress at never knowing his father. Thorin provides some well-needed comfort. <br/>Then Fili has some doubts about being an heir. Thorin assures him he'll be just fine. <br/>Next up: While on the Quest Thorin has some concerns about being a father to his nephews. They reassure him he's done just fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kili

The Market and Main Hall of the Blue Mountains was full of colorful decorations and the cheerful sounds of happiness and celebration. Thorin was seated at one of the large benches surround the room, Balin next to him. The two Dwarves sat in a comfortable silence, absorbing the laughter and joy around them. Dwalin stumbled by with Gloin, one arm slung around his shoulders. They were both singing loudly and off-key and very drunkenly. Thorin turned to Balin and snorted slightly at the expression on his face. Balin just shook his head slowly, "Is it too late to disown him?"  
Thorin smiled at him, "Aye. You can torture him tomorrow in the forge though."  
Balin laughed at that and they lapsed back into silence. Fili darted by them, sending a bright smile at his uncle as he passed. Thorin and Balin smiled back before Thorin noticed something odd. Kili was not following his brother. He had last seen his youngest nephew drinking happily with his brother, Gimli tagging along behind them. A quick search of the hall soon found him, sitting alone at a table in one of the far corners. Thorin bid Balin farewell and headed to his nephew. As Thorin grew closer he saw that Kili was staring blankly into his mug, twisting it between his hands. Thorin sat himself across from him and cleared his throat, alerting Kili to his presence. Kili's head shot up and he smiled at Thorin, "Uncle."  
Thorin looked him over. Kili didn't seem upset, merely thoughtful, "What's wrong?"  
Kili looked around, confused, "What do you mean? I'm fine."  
"Why are you sitting here by yourself?"  
Kili's shoulders dropped, "Oh. It's nothing."  
"Clearly it's something."  
Kili shrugged one shoulder, "Just thinking."  
Thorin gestured for him to continue and explain which he did, after a moment, "It's just something Dwalin said."  
Thorin's stomach dropped, Dwalin had a habit of not thinking when he was drunk, "What did Dwalin say?"  
Kili nearly laughed at the expression on his uncle's face, "It's nothing bad! Promise."  
That seemed to relieve Thorin slightly, "What did he say?"  
"It's nothing really. He just mentioned something I did reminded him of Father. I don't even remember what it was I did..."  
Kili fell silent again and Thorin looked him over with a critical eye. His younger nephew seemed...distressed, "Is there something wrong with being like your father?"  
Kili shook his head, dark hair falling into his eyes, "No.....I just....."  
He shrugged again as if to end the conversation but Thorin was having none of that, "You just what?"  
Kili shrugged once again and drank from his mug before explaining, "I just....I don't know if being like him is a good thing or not. I don't know anything about him."  
Thorin didn't know how to respond to that. His brother-in-law, Sagnus, had died before Kili had even been born. While Fili had a few sparse memories of his father, Kili had nothing. He realized that Kili had begun speaking and focused all his attention of his nephew once again.  
"I don't know what he looks like. We don't have any portraits...I don't know what his personality was. People say he looked and acted a lot like Fili but....and I don't want to ask Mum. She gets upset when people mention his name and I don't like her upset. Fili barely remembers him and I don't like pushing into his memories. I just wish I knew something about him."  
Thorin voice was soft when he finally did speak, "He was a good Dwarf...he did look a lot like Fili. He had some of Fili's temperament: calm and well spoken. He had a side to him that was a lot like you too."  
Kili continued to stare into his mug, "I just wish I knew what that side was.....he didn't even get to see what I looked like."  
"He wanted you very much, Kili," Thorin said, "He went on about how you were going to be another son.....he was the one that picked your name."  
Kili looked up at that, "He did?"  
"Aye."  
Kili smiled slightly at that before the smile faded again, "Do-do you think he would have been proud of me? Even though I'm not much like a true Dwarf?"  
Thorin nearly snarled, "Who said you weren't enough like a Dwarf? I want names!"  
Kili held up his hands in a gesture of surrender with a small chuckle, "No one. Promise."  
Thorin's glare didn't fade, "There's nothing wrong with you. Understand me?"  
Kili ducked his head slightly, "I didn't mean it like that but.....Uncle, for a Dwarf I'm practically dainty. I use a bow as my primary weapon not an axe or a sword....I'm a ranger. I barely have any growth of a beard....."  
He trailed off and looked down at his mug once again. Thorin paused briefly, pondering what to say in this situation, "Kili.....Kili look at me," His younger heir did as he was told, looking all the more like a kicked puppy, "Your father would be nothing but proud of you. How could he not be? Your mother, Fili, and myself.....we're all proud of you. You're an expert warrior. You favor the bow, yes, with good reason. I've never seen a Dwarf outshoot you. You could probably outshoot an Elf."  
That gained a slight smile and Thorin continued, "You also have talent with the sword. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're a ranger. The first Dwarf ranger as far as I know. That alone has more bragging rights (not that you should brag) than even I can boast. Your beard will come in time. That's not something you can change...and I'd hardly call you dainty."  
Kili smiled slightly, "Thanks."  
"You don't thank someone for telling the truth. You've done your father's name....and the Durin name proud, Kili, son of Sagnus."  
Kili seemed to straighten at that, as if a burden was lifted off his shoulders, "I'll continue to do that."  
Thorin gave him a small smile, "I know you will. Now go and help your brother tear apart the mountain while the Festival is still going on."  
Kili stood and gave his uncle a bright, typical, Kili grin before darting off to meet his brother was lingering by the doorway, looking for him. Thorin watched the two boys disappear into the crowds before shaking his head with a smile, "You should be proud of them Sagnus. They're turning out to be remarkable Dwarves."  
Thorin rose and stretched before walking over to join Balin and once again go back to enjoying himself.


	2. Fili

Fili propped his head up on one hand and tried desperately to keep his eyes opened and at least make it seem like he was paying attention. His uncle was droning on about.......the Dwarves.......visiting.....from the.....Iron Hills.....he thought. He hoped. He had stopped paying attention somewhere around the discussion of fork placement and seating at the feast. Distantly he hoped Thorin hadn't noticed how utterly bored and confused he actually was. Fili felt his eyes drift closed when he heard his name snapped at him, "Fili!"  
Fili's head snapped up, his eyes wide, "Yes Thorin?"  
Thorin had one eyebrow raised and was giving him a knowing look, "Are you paying any attention whatsoever?"  
Fili nodded hesitantly, "Yes?"  
"Why was that a question?"  
Fili shrugged one shoulder halfheartedly, "It's all starting to blur together."  
Thorin sighed, "Fili....you have to pay attention to this. You're my heir and we have to give off a good impression."  
"All their names sound the same, I've never met any of them before as far as I can remember, and all they're going to do is get drunk and swap battle stories. No one will notice if I'm using the wrong fork and even if they do they're already going to be judging me and clearly I'm not going to live up to their standards!" Fili finished with a huff.  
Thorin blinked a few times, dumbfounded by the usually even-tempered blonde's rant. Thorin leaned back into his chair and nodded slowly, "Alright. What's wrong?"  
Fili sighed and dropped his head into his arms resting on Thorin's desk, "Nothing. Nothing is wrong."  
Thorin raised an eyebrow, "Funny. I don't believe you."  
Fili sighed again but lifted his head, "Really."  
Thorin continued to stare at him.  
Fili squirmed slightly in his seat, "I mean it. I'm fine."  
'The Look' continued.  
"Really, Uncle."  
Thorin didn't even blink.  
Finally Fili broke, "Fine! Enough with 'The Look'! I'll talk."  
Thorin withheld a smirk, "Start talking."  
Fili sighed almost morosely, "It's just.....Kili's gone."  
Thorin nodded, "Aye but he'll be back in a week."  
"I know but....this will be the first meeting with the Dwarves from the Iron Hills without him."  
Thorin snorted, "I know. Things might actually be calmer."  
Fili couldn't help the little laugh that escaped before he grew solemn once again, "I know...but he's not here. It's just me. Alone. Just me. The heir. Alone."  
Thorin nodded, "I know....are you going somewhere with this?"  
Fili went silent for a long minute, "I don't think I should be your heir."  
Thorin straightened at that, "I'm sorry?"  
"I'm not....I'm not right. All these Dwarves.....all our kin....they're going to be looking at me. Judging me. Making sure I'm good enough and I don't make any mistakes. I'm not ready for that. I never will be. I hate being the center of attention like that."  
"Fili...you're fine."  
"No! No, I'm not. That's the point!"  
There was a long pause, "......Fili....what brought this up?"  
Fili sighed again before attempting to come up with the words, "Nothing. Nothing did. I've been thinking about this for awhile....I-I just-I just don't fit in with this family....I mean....I do but not in a leader way. You know?"  
"...no. Not in the slightest," Thorin answered honestly, "Fili....if something is bothering you, talk to me. Or your mother if that's easier."  
Fili sighed again and dropped his head back into his hands, making his voice muffled, "No. I don't need to talk to Mum. I....I just don't want to disappoint you."  
"You never could."  
Fili looked up and Thorin could see those words hadn't the helped the way he hoped they would. Fili still looked distraught. Fili ran his hand through his hair, messing his braids and making him look very young, "I'm not a leader. I'm not. You're a leader. You walk in a room and everyone notices you and listens and lets you take charge. When Mum needs to get someone's attention she can be downright terrifying. She speaks and you know you have to listen. Even Kili...he may not make to...smartest choices all the time but he could convince anyone to join him in training, or stealing cookies, or goofing around. I-I don't have that," Fili finished quietly.  
It was Thorin's turn to sigh, "Fili-"  
Before he could finish, his nephew cut him off, "I'm just being stupid, aren't I?"  
The room was silent and Fili knew the answer before his uncle suddenly spoke again, "Your grandfather and I weren't really close."  
Fili stared at him confused before nodding slowly, "O-Okay......"  
Thorin fought a smile, "I'm going somewhere with this, I swear."  
Fili nodded and Thorin continued, "He was my father and I loved him but he was far closer to your mother than me. And he and your uncle Frerin fought more than I have ever seen two Dwarves fight. So we learned to confide in others. Frerin had our mother.....I had my grandfather, your great-grandfather, Thror."  
Fili nodded to show he was listening but still looked utterly perplexed as to how his distress in being the heir pertained to the story being told.  
"My grandfather was the one who started teaching me what it meant to be a prince. The lessons started small and I enjoyed them...at first. They started getting more and more...intense. It wasn't until Frerin was no longer invited or privy to the information I was being taught that I first started to panic. Frerin was my Kili. He lightened everything. Suddenly he was going on hunting trips and I was learning Dwarven etiquette. When Thror developed the dragon sickness I suddenly realized my father was really acting as king which meant I was the next one in line for the throne. I didn't want that. At all. Sometimes I'm still not entirely sure that I do."  
Fili looked like he was starting to comprehend where this was going but still had an air of confusion around him.  
"Fili...I understand the pressure. I understand not wanting to disappoint someone. And I really understand not having a buffer between you and that looming responsibility. If you have doubts it's completely normal and completely understandable. I have doubts on a daily basis....not just about ruling but being there and being less.....aloof with you and your brother. I wouldn't have formally named you as my heir if I didn't believe you could do this. If you make a mistake at this meeting, you make a mistake. It's just Dain. His opinion couldn't matter less to me."  
Fili cracked a small smile at that and Thorin knew he had won, "Nobody wants you to be anyone except you, Fili. Lest of all, me. You can do this. You have me to support you, your mother, and I'm sure if Kili were here he'd be making things all the more difficult by placing buckets of water above doors and causing mischief just to distract us all."  
Fili's smile grew, "He is good at distractions."  
The corner of Thorin's mouth turned up in return, "Aye. That he is. My point is you still have a buffer. You have me. And trust me when I say I understand not wanting the pressure. I know you can handle it though."  
Fili nodded slowly, "I just don't want to disappoint you."  
"I said it before, I'll say it again. You never could."  
Fili's shoulders were less defeated and his eyes looked less downcast as he nodded.  
"If you still don't believe that you could be my heir after this meeting I understand. You're going to be fine, but I understand."  
Fili took a deep breath and nodded, "I think-I hope I can handle it."  
"You can. Take break. We can work more tonight."  
Fili brightened slightly at that and headed for the door before Thorin stopped him, "Oh, and Fili? I seem to recall that it wasn't me, your mother, or Kili who lead quite a few past orc hunts which returned without a single injury. Or who convinced me that Kili should be allowed to be ranger. Or who took charge when I was out of the forge last week. You're quite a leader. Don't lose confidence in that."  
Fili grinned at him and his smile was back to normal before he ducked out the door. Seconds later he poked his head through again, "Uncle? Thank you."  
The door shut behind him and Thorin shook his head fondly, "Anytime Fili. Anytime."


	3. Thorin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is having some doubts about his role as a father-figure for the boys. Fili and Kili....reassure him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just saw BotFA and I have never cried so hard during a movie since I saw The Lion King at age two twenty-one years ago. It exceeded ever expectation and I desperately needed some good ol' Durin family moments to make me feel better.  
> I like this chapter. I wasn't quite sure about it at first but I've grown rather fond of it. Hopefully you will like as much as I do.

The journey was officially started. The Hobbit....Mr. Baggins....had joined them as of that morning, contract signed. Thorin still had....reservations over their choice of a burglar but he supposed Gandalf-being a wizard-had some idea of what he was doing.  
Currently the camp was settling down for the night. Bombur was cooking dinner and his nephews were.....giving him more grey hair.  
Kili was hanging upside down by his knees from a tree while Fili attempted to throw what looked to be grapes into his mouth. Thorin sighed, this was neither the time nor the place for their antics but better now than farther in the journey when he needed them to act more.....mature.  
Mr. Baggins, on his part, seemed to be getting some sort of lesson on Dwarven genealogy from Ori. The younger Dwarf was explaining family ties amongst the party from his brothers all the way down to Thorin himself. It was when he heard Bilbo say his name that he actually started listening in somewhat.  
"So Thorin is really the only one without any direct family here? I mean you have your two brothers and everyone else seems to have a brother as well," Bilbo was asking Ori.  
The little Dwarf looked at the Hobbit puzzled, "No. No, Thorin has family here. He has Fili and Kili, his nephews."  
Bilbo looked incredulously at where Kili was now spitting grapes back at his brother, "They're Thorin's nephews?"  
Ori nodded, "They live with him and everything. He helped raise them when their father died from what I know."  
Bilbo frowned, "Seems like a tough household to be in. Thorin doesn't seem to be a....cheerful person. Not very....nurturing, so to speak."  
Ori shrugged and their conversation drifted to knitting techniques.  
Thorin wandered slightly away to the outskirts of their camp and sat down against the base of a tree, Mr. Baggins's words ringing through his head. He had never expected to have to step in and be a father but when the situation had been thrust upon him he wasn't going to let his baby sister flounder alone. He knew he was aloof and stern but he liked to think there was a softer side to him as well. He had to have some desirable traits other than warrior and unsmiling leader. He had never thought his nephews would be pitied for having to live with him but that certainly been what was in the Hobbit's eyes. Sure, he wasn't the most....conventional parental figure but he did the best he could and the boys had never voiced protest...  
Before his mind could continue to race his nephews sauntered over and plopped down on either side of him, slightly breathless from horsing around. Kili held out a handful of fruit with an ever-present Kili grin, "Grape?"  
"I can promise that these weren't in Kili's mouth," Fili assured him with a grin of his own.  
Thorin gave them a look, "You shouldn't be wasting food like that."  
Nevertheless he took the fruit in question anyway and popped one into his mouth before another reprimand occurred to him and he turned to his younger nephew, "And if you continue to hang from trees like that you're going to fall and break your wrist again."  
Kili stared at him blankly for a moment before sending him another bright grin. Thorin just rolled his eyes and leaned back against the tree's base. Both boys followed suite, Fili pulling out his pipe, and Kili pulling out a whetstone for one of the many knives hidden on him. Peaceful silence regained for a moment and Thorin slipped back into his increasingly dark train of thought.  
Certainly the boys seemed well adjusted enough. All though Dis could be explained for that. His baby sister was the one who worn the pants in that family, not him. Thorin glanced at Kili who seemed to sense his stare at beamed up at him. Thorin felt his mouth twitch in response and Kili's smile broadened before going back to his knives. Despite it's intent, Kili's infectious grin did nothing to lighten his spirits. If his youngest nephew could be made happy with not even a smile back from Thorin himself......  
And then there was Fili. His elder nephew was a bit more reserved.....if one could ever use the word reserved to describe either boy. Fili, who could pass for Thorin's twin if not for the blonde hair he inherited from his father.  
Sagnus. Thorin had wished his marriage brother was still alive to see his boys grow just as often as he selfishly enjoyed every moment of raising the boys as his own. Thorin was roughly jolted out of his dark mindset by a nudge from Fili. He looked up at the blonde who was staring at him with a raised brow. Thorin matched the look and waited for his nephew to speak. The held a staring contest for a moment before Fili broke, "You're brooding."  
Thorin frowned, "I'm not brooding."  
Fili looked around him at Kili who looked Thorin over before nodding. Fili seemed to take this as a good enough response and turned back to his uncle, "Yes you are."  
Thorin's frown deepened to dangerously resembling a pout, "I am not."  
Fili looked back at Kili who nodded sagely at him before they both responded, "Yes you are."  
Thorin resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "I'm not brooding. I'm thinking," He fondly reached over to ruffle both of their hair, "You should try it sometime."  
Kili stuck his tongue out at him and Fili swatted him off. Thorin didn't bother holding back the small smile that escaped, "Mature."  
Fili brightened almost instantly, "Got you to stop brooding."  
Thorin sighed, feeling an exasperation setting in that only came from dealing with the boys, "For the last time, I was not brooding."  
It was Kili who responded this time, "Yes you were."  
Thorin managed to keep his groan at bay and rose, "I am going to check on dinner. You two are going to behave."  
Both boys nodded, eyes completely innocent and he turned back toward where the camp was. Thorin made it about ten steps before his nephews came flying out of seemingly nowhere, Kili attaching himself to Thorin's right shoulder and back and Fili plowing into his left side and latching on like a leech. Their combined weight made him stumble and nearly brought them all down. Thorin managed to keep his footing and flipped them so Fili and Kili landed in front of him in a pile of laughter. The spun around to face them and he leveled them both with a glare.  
Meanwhile the entire Dwarf (and Hobbit and Wizard) camp held their breath, dreading Thorin's response. Fili and Kili were the youngest of the group in both age and temperament and their childish antics could wear on anyone, let alone their rather short-tempered leader.  
Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to five, "You two are such children."  
Kili looked inordinately proud of that fact, "Our sole purpose in life is to keep you young and give you more grey hair at the same time."  
Thorin sighed before chuckling despite himself, "You're succeeding."  
He extended a hand to both boys and pulled them to their feet before cuffing them lightly on the back of the head, "Go check on the ponies."  
Both nephews went and did as they were told, ramming into one another as they walked. Thorin suddenly felt all the camp's eyes on him, "What?"  
Balin gave him a rather indulgent smile, "Nothing lad. Dinner is almost ready."  
The entire camp seemed to sigh in relief and rose to retrieve their dinner from Bofur. Bilbo received his bowl before speaking to no one in particular, "Should someone bring Fili and Kili theirs?"  
Thorin shook his head, "They didn't go that far. Boys! Food!"  
The Dwarf leader paused for half a second before swiftly stepping to the left as Kili plummeted out of the tree directly onto his brother who pounced out from behind it. They crashed into one another before rolling off of one another with a groan. Thorin smirked down at them, "You done now?"  
They both nodded and got to their feet still grinning brightly. Thorin sighed fondly and handed them their bowls and ruffling their hair again. They swatted him off and he followed them to settle against the base of a tree to eat.  
Soon the air was filled with munching noises and the sound of light chatter. Thorin felt a very light tap on his shoulder and he looked over to where Fili was seated next to him, "Yes?"  
Fili had a soft, knowing look on his face, "Nothing. Just wanted to let you know that we're pretty happy with the father figure who raised us. We never wished for a different one."  
He got to his feet, pulling his brother up with him. Fili sauntered away but Kili paused a moment to look back at Thorin, "We couldn't ask for a better uncle."  
Thorin smiled softly, "ANd I could not have wished for two better nephews."  
Kili smiled back at him before following his brother to get more food.  
Instantly Thorin realized what they had been up to and was grateful. His dark mood and heavy thoughts were certainly gone thanks to his distractions. He settled back against the base of the tree and continued to eat before he heard a soft noise. Thorin glanced slyly to the side and saw Bilbo not-so-subtly attempting to eavesdrop on their conversation. The Hobbit looked mildly surprised as he shook his head softly before muttering to himself, "Huh. Guess I was wrong."


End file.
